Loving MySelf

WOW!!! I really love myself. like head over hills in love with this lady who's typing this post. So I am at work bored out of my brain, tired of being on IG and Facebook so I was like hey I want to start a Blog (random I know), but a few big things happened in my life that made me wanted to start one.

So I began the search on "How to start a Blog"....Then I remembered I started a Blog on Google 5 years ago, lets see if its still up.... and it was :)!

So I took a walk down memory lane and reading every post made me smile and made me love myself so much more. It made me love the words I wrote and the fact I was able to write down my true feelings and vividly express them. Re-reading the post was like feeling all of those emotions again, it reminded me of how great I am and how much God loves me!

my complication

you are so complicated, why is that, why do you have to make our "relationship" so complicated. i mean whats so had to enjoy each other, you make me question if i can do this forever, i mean your sucha asshole sometimes it makes me question if this is all worth it, like whats the point when i am confident that i could find someone who is willing to treat me better, but the crazy thing is that i dont want better i just want you, why cant you get that through your thick skull, ugh you drive me crazy sometimes, like UGH. i be so close to be over this but then im sucked right him. why cant you just stop being so fucking complicated and just allow yourself to love me fully, let yourself enjoy being with me, because honestly if you dnt i dnt know how long i can stick around.

MY FIX

when im with you i feel good, like i dont have a care in the world, your presence consumes me and im get high off being nxt to, by you hell even just being in the same room as you. This feeling, ive never felt before this high i never wanna come down from. i dont think you understand what your presence does to me, electricity i feel whn you slightly touch me, how my heart melts whn you kiss me. I never knew a person could make me feel this free this high this so much in love, i want this feeling forever, i never wanna get used to you or over you, i want stay madly in love with, i wanna stay addicted to your scent your touch your kiss YOU. i dnt want a remedy i dnt care if its not healthy for me i dnt care if the feeling is only for a moment, i need it and want it, gotta have it, you my love is fix that i cant live without

eventually

He said eventually, that me and him will get together eventually, he couldn't understand why things cant stay the way they are, why i need to the commitment, why i insist me and him be in a relationship, and my response is only why not, whats so hard about being with me. I don't know how to handle this eventually crap, i love him and all but i need more, i want more, i deserve more and in my opinion he should want to give me more. I don't know what I'm going to do because this guy is the LOVE of my life and sometimes i think hes worth the wait but then sometimes I'm like fuck it! So like i said he claims we will be together eventually but when the hell is that because eventually might just be to long of a wait for me!

MY FATHER

He is the king of jKings and the lord of lords, How awsome is it to have a father who is incontrol of it all, like whatever i need i can just ask him, like really ask and he delivers but IT get this my father knows me so well that he is able to filter whats really for me and not, and my father takes it one step futher and not only shower me with my needs but also some wants, my daddy he spoils me, his main purpose is to make me smile and for that my love for him is so great. My father loves me inspite of me, even though i dont deserve anything he, my daddy, blesses me with it, and has told me that there is more to come, that my days will be greater. I am a living proof that it gets better and better, everyday i live God is always blessing me, surprising me, taking care of me, loving me!

THE RING

thE Ring, what else is there to say... this is wht i expect on my finger whn the love of my life says thoes words

THE END....

So BUrke left ChRISTina!!! i was sooo hurt, i cant believe they didn't make it. like my heart was really hurt. they were my hope that two people who on the outside looking in wouldn't work to others but they worked, him and her they WORKED. they were my couple that showED that love was enough when nothing else was. that their love for each other was enough to overshawdow their issues. but they didn't make it, at the end Christina's lack of emotion was too much for Burke to handle, at the end love really wasn't enough! bUT WHY NOT!! why cant love be enough, how cant your love each other be enough to make it in the end, why cant two people just love each other to death, to the end with no true issues because the love, just the love was powerful enough